GREAT Recipes...too bad they're not mine!

I love to cook and bake.  I don't really have much time to do it, or many people to do it for...but I love to get out a recipe, new or old, and make something.  I love how eventually it becomes second nature and I don't have to use a recipe too!  I have several "favorites" if you will, but I've realized, none of them are "my" recipe...for example, my favorite cake recipe (Paula Dean's recipe), bean dip recipe (added to it, but not mine), apple dip recipe (mom's), chicken 'n rice (mom's),  spinach and artichoke dip (Katie's), Parmesan Chicken (Christen's), roasted rosemary potatoes (dad's), banana pudding (mom's), chocolate "good stuff" (sister's),  and on and on and on...none of them are mine.  They are recipes that have been tested to see exactly how much sugar is enough, how much parmesan can you add before it becomes overwhelming, how small do you chop the artichoke hearts, when do you add the chocolate to the dish so it doesn't mix into the cream cheese...(glad all that isn't in the same dish!)  So I don't really have that much to add to or adjust and call the dish my own, I don't want to claim something gross... :-/

But I do have another recipe in the works. Surprise, surprise, not really mine either.  Sure, I have an effect on this one.  I can even alter is a bit with certain choices, but really its not mine at all, and I'm good with that.  In fact it would be quite disastrous if I had to completely come up with the recipe, I don't think I'd be sitting here writing this blog.  What's the recipe?  Well (corny as this is going to be, just keep reading...k?) its my life. Life really is like a recipe.  You have to have just the right amount of adventure, love, sleep, school, money, family, friends, experience, time, etc. to make it work for you.  

For a lot of people, this is the one recipe that they will truly write on their own, completely.  But for me...I really don't want to be the author of this one.  Some of you may think I'm weird, that's okay.  I'm not saying I want some Big Brother telling me how and when to do everything, but there is someone I want to lay out the plan for me.  Why? Who? Well, I think I've tried to measure out what to add too many times, only to have things turn out bad, I can only see so far, and predict so much, why  not let someone a little bigger handle things.  I've decided I want God in control of this one. He's been faithful thus far!  And He knows.  He knows exactly what I can handle, what experiences I'll have and how to prepare me for them.  He know my likes, dislikes, desires, dreams (He did give them to me :-)) He has a recipe already, and I trust that when its finished it will be a great one.  Its a life long recipe, but I must say that as I've "dipped my finger in the batter" its tasting pretty good so far.  Sure there are elements that have been difficult, hard, heartbreaking, disappointing, but think about it, I wouldn't be who I am today without those experiences.  And He hasn't given me more than I can handle either.  It's like making a chocolate cake.  Ever tasted cocoa powder by itself? YUCK!  Smells so chocolaty and delicious, ha!  Not when it hits your tongue...you'll be scraping it off as fast as you put it in your mouth.  Its so bitter, harsh, but without it in the cake...you don't have a chocolate cake.  Same with baking soda or powder, or salt in a sweet dessert?  Without them though...no cake. 

If I were going to edit my life recipe right now there would probably be some things I would take out, or edit...but then my cake would be flat, crumbly, soupy, and not chocolate, so I think I'll just leave it alone!

You could ask me what my recipe is going to turn out to be, how long it needs to sit, or how long to cook it...but I don't know.  Sure I make the decisions day by day, but God has already laid them out for me and prepared me (you too if you'll let Him) to make the decisions.  He has a plan, and He'll carry it out to completion.  I'm going to let Him keep writing this recipe, and I'll just keep sticking my finger in the batter for a taste, and when I get the bitter cocoa, well I'll trust that there is a reason for the uncomfortable taste for the perfection of the recipe.

Life is good, God is awesome...go bake a cake!

I Understand...I Think

Ever feel like you just want to know...just want to understand?  Maybe it's a "teacher-thing" or maybe it's just an everybody thing...but I seek, want, hope for understanding...in everything.  At school I want my students to understand what I'm trying to teach them, I want to understand why they do or say things, I want to understand their needs, I want to understand what in the world is going through their head, I want to understand information, knowledge, and so on.  

In life though, it's the same.  I want to understand.  I want to understand situations, friends, relationships, the highs, the lows...all of it.  I guess I tell myself I want to know so that I can prepare myself, or "get ready" for the next step, or gain control of a situation, but I'm learning that it doesn't get me anywhere to invest so much time and energy in trying to understand when many things I'm just not meant to understand.  Sure their is a motivation to be a life long learner in gaining "understanding" of whatever, but when the drive to understand begins to take a toll on emotion, spirit, personality, sleep, relationships and causes anxiousness, moodiness, etc....really, is it worth it to try and figure everything out?  Chances are if you let things play out, you will understand...just not in your expected timing.

I've fallen in love with a little devotional called Jesus Calling.  You may have heard of it, if not....CHECK IT OUT!  Its fantastic.  The author, Sarah Young, writes these letters as if Jesus Himself were talking to you.  So in the middle of my trying to find understanding...this is what I read

       "Understanding will never bring you peace.  That's why I have instructed you to trust in Me, not in your understanding.  Human beings have a voracious appetite for trying to figure things out, in order to gain a sense of mastery over their lives.  But the world presents you with an endless series of problems.  As soon as you master one set, another pops up to challenge you.  The relief you had anticipated is short-lived.  Soon your mind is gearing up again: searching for understanding (mastery), instead of seeking Me (your Master)."

Well yep, that's me!  But good news, there is hope!  She goes on to write...

       "My peace is not an elusive goal...you are ALWAYS enveloped in Peace, which is inherent in MY Presence.  As you look to me, you gain awareness of this precious Peace."

Proverbs 3:5-6

Romans 5:1

2 Thessalonians 3:16

I think I'll invest my time in resting in this Precious Peace...I can trust Him with the understanding :-)

Ms. Jena said...

I think the question that every parent asks their child, usually on a daily basis, is..."How was school today?"  Its a question that no one really likes to answer, at any age...yet everyone asks it.  I remember as a student I would hate when the question came up, school is school, what do you want me to tell you?!  (by the way, I still get it now, I should have known when I became a teacher...I'm still in school, therefore someone has to ask "how was school today?" thanks mom!)

So with the understanding that my students are probably getting asked this question at home...I get a little nervous as to what their answer is.  Yes I encourage my children to tell their parents about school, but I can't help to wonder, what does the 4-year old mind choose tell mom and dad about school?  Luckily, most of my parents fess up and tell me what their kids are saying.

Some tell about all the things they are learning, others make up stories about imaginary events, some tattle on their friends, and some try to retell things I've told them. I wish I could remember all the things that my kids have quoted, rather misquoted me on in the last couple years, but kids some how eat away at your brain and the memory cells go first...

Here's a few thoughts I've overheard the kids saying, or they have shared with their parents:

Ms. Jena said...

"You need to rest during play time because if you don't you'll be too tired to play during rest time!"  this seems more accurate to reality sometimes

"I can do whatever I want!" not exactly bud...you can BE a fireman, or whatever you want to be but you can't just DO whatever you want...come on, get it right!

"Tie your shoes so you'll have meat..." or  wipe your face so you'll be neat...(its in a song)

"You need to push your chair under so your friend will fall out of the chair"  ...ummm, not sure about the thought process here...they could fall OVER the chair I guess...

"You can't walk in the class, thats not safe" ....its run, its not safe to RUN in the class...

"quick, throw all the toys away"  this may be how some kids clean up but how about we just PUT them away!

"we can play with plasto!!!! (with much enthusiasm)" hmmmm??? you mean...PLAY-DOH?  that one took some process of elimination


Oh the joys of working with youngsters...I know I tend to mix things up at times, however I usually catch myself and know I've mixed up my words....the best part about what my kids sometimes say, is that to them they are so sure of what they are saying, confident that they are doing exactly what Ms. Jena said....yet somehow I don't end up with kids that "rest up to play during rest time," that "push under their chairs to watch their friends fall out," that "do whatever they want" that "run safely" through the classroom, that "throw away" all their toys, and "tie their shoes to get meat."  Man, what would happen if they interpreted and proclaimed what I actually said....hmmmmmm

Well, like Alan Alda said..."When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other!" So I guess if I can keep laughing at the things my kids say, then all will be well.

Go out and have a good laugh today...I'll keep you posted on all the "good stuff"

Jena

Thank You Jesus!

Thank you Jesus!...and I don't say that in a loose, vain way...I mean just that, Thank You Jesus!  This week I've been "covered by grace" as I've officially finished my first full week with my students.

I work as a teacher in the newly named NC Pre-K program, a state funded program targeting at-risk and low income families.  The program tries to serve children that are either already identified with some sort of developmental delay or disability, or children that are flagged for possibly having a delay.  It also serves children that have never been served in any kind of structured setting.  There is a big push this year to hold parents accountable as well, and require them to be working or in school for a number of hours each week which is a great addition in my opinion.

With program changes, backups, and hold ups, there has been a really slow start to assign children to schools, therefore, I only have 10 students right now.  Meaning, I'm in ratio by myself, and I'm in the class myself.  Now, initially this may not really seem significant to you...but it is.  With 10 students that have never been in any kind of structured setting, in a completely new classroom, with new rules (and whats a rule?) new expectations, new peers, new routines, new teachers, new new new new new....well it can be a bit overwhelming, for students and teachers!  Think about it...transitioning one new student is a challenge, 15 with two teachers...a challenge, 10 by yourself...BIG challenge.

BUT....like I said, THANK YOU JESUS!  What a great week!  Something that I thought would end in my frustration, upset kids, questioning parents, and sleepless nights, ended very, very well.  I actually must say I REALLY enjoyed it!  So, thank you Jesus for the peace of your presence in my classroom.  Thank you for patience as my students learn the classroom and expectations, thank you for the sweet moments as I build relationships with each student, thank you for trusting children that feel welcome and safe in the room, thank you for the parents that seem more involved than in years past, thank you for comfort (as my best friend and teacher next door has moved to Boston...Megan), thank you for energy and stamina throughout the day, thank you for eager learners, thank you for support from admins, thank you for nice weather (we love the outdoors), thank you for my 10 wonderful students you've placed in my care, and thank you for the time I have with them to get them transitioned as I wait, hopeful for 8 more...Thank You!

So, what about your week? What are you thankful for?

Superheroes, Bran, Single Ladies, Gravity, and Sesame Street

Today was the day!!  The first day with some of my students.  We do a staggered entry, so I only had half the class for a half day today, I will have half tomorrow, and then everyone on Wednesday.  I've been so excited about this day for a while.  The anticipation just about made me explode with excitement as I wondered about each one of them, their personalities, how they act when mom's not around (which can be good or bad!) what they're interested in, and what they love to do....oh I could go on and on.  There are so many little details about each one of them that makes them so unique, and a special part of our class family.

So, what I learned in my 4 hours with them today...

• No one likes bran cereal...what a shocker (not)
• I have 2 DIVAS! (maybe more after tomorrow)
• I have to watch/learn A LOT about batman, spiderman, superman, superwoman, cat woman, sand man, hulk, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Clark Kent, and all the other superheroes...which i've avoided all these years...geez
• you can learn a lot about a family when you have cousins in the same class, if their moms only knew
• i'll have to plan a little lesson on "What goes up, WILL come down" ie. sand in the sand box, of course i think the lesson was learned for this little one...it only takes one speck in the eye...
• apparently "Single Ladies" is the hit song in the 4-year old world...sad
• you have to keep it a secret if you still like Seseme Street bc "its for babies"
• And...I basically have the COOLEST kids in Durham in my class

Can't wait to see what tomorrow holds!

Back to the Routine

Summer is over...sad, I know, but its the "season" of the year where everyone gets back into their "normal routine," and so will I.  I must say that summer, and what I do during the summer is part of my overall routine, but you know what I mean.  So what is my routine that I'm finding my way back to?  Well part of it is work.  I am a teacher, and so over the last week I have started to get ready for my next class of little ones.  I teach some of our youngest learners, 4 year olds, who rival some older kids in their eagerness for information and learning.

When I think about routines in reference to our days together, there literally is a routine for EVERYTHING we do.  A routine for coming into the classroom, for going to centers, cleaning up a meal, group time, lining up, cleaning up, reading, going outside, and the list goes on and on.  We use routines to make things habit, if we have the kids clean up their area the same way everyday, eventually it becomes a habit (a much desired one) and not just a routine.

So what? Kids need routines, yeah.  What about me though.  What is my daily routine? What habits am I forming because of my routine?  In all honesty, are they good, bad, consistent, inconsistent?  I think if I constructively criticize my routines or habits, there is room for improvement.  For example, I've got it down when it comes to getting ready in the morning...get out of bed, shower, get ready, etc...improvement comes in not hitting snooze 5 times before I actually get out of bed :-)  I'm also in the habit of driving to and from work the same way.  But I could probably stand to make it a habit not to be in such a rush or get flustered when the person in front of me isn't...I could in fact make it part of my routine to leave 5 minutes earlier.

But the biggest one for me, the one I need to be ever so consistent in, the routine that shouldn't be compromised...ever.  Well thats the one that I think a lot of us struggle with, and its stopping...just stopping...and finding the moment (or several) to have time with God, and rest in His presence.  Not just on Sunday morning or Wednesday night, but every single day.  And as much as I teach my students routines until they in fact become habit, why can't I (we) live by the same standard.  Sure I do it several days in the week, usually when it is "convenient" for me...but thats not how it is supposed to be.  I don't teach my kids to wash their hands after coming out of the bathroom so they can do it when its convenient for them...eww, gross....no, I teach them that routine so that is becomes a habit for every time they use the bathroom!

So, in the same way that I hold my kids accountable to the routines we have at school...I'm holding myself, and you, accountable to making it a part of our "normal routine" and a habit, to stop...stop and spend time with God, in the Word, talking with Him, and investing in my relationship with Him...every day.

I'm going to get back into my normal routine...with an added element, how about you?

Hurry Up Camp!

For the past several years (9 or so) I have worked with Youth Conference Ministries (YCM) at camps during the summer.  Several years I was a camp counselor, I did a couple of years on work crew, I've been an intern, done recreation, but now my claim is summer staff.  If you're not familiar with YCM or "Camp stuff" in general, those titles probably mean nothing to you, and thats okay.  

Basically Summer Staff is a summer long commitment to work at several different Great Escape Camps (middle school) and Fun In The Son camps (high school) all over the east coast, doing any and everything you can.  We help set up and tear down stage and program sets, help run cameras, spots, or slideshows at program, help run rec, help with evening events or aftermaths, and do SECURITY at night to ensure all campers are quiet, safe, and accounted for (this job can get quite exciting!)  Some interesting things happen on security...(stories to come) and I think I'm learning that I don't always understand middle school girls...shocker!

Anyways, I'm in the middle of my 2 off weeks, and while I've thoroughly enjoyed my time off, I am so ready to get back.  

You quickly find that camp staff becomes a family.  You spend 17-20 hours a day with the people working around you, so its hard not to get to know each other.  And like most families, there are countless stories of funny, exciting, embarrassing, and "stupid" moments, and inside jokes.  Moments like falling out of a chair in the middle of the common room (that was me), running into doors and support poles while everyone is watching you (not me...promise), or sitting in a friend's room, eating their snacks, about to talk to them, only to realize your in the wrong room!  Again, not me...I do have several stories though, mostly embarrassing, that I could share.  However, I think I'll leave you hanging and wondering....don't you hate that?!!

For the ones that were there with me, all I have to say is, Cheese Nips and Microphone...the rest of you can just wonder what happened   :-)

But how about this...next time I embarrass myself, or something really funny happens, I'll share it with you...promise!